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Self Confidence

Self Confidence is a cherished quality that every young person looks for.

What is self confidence exactly?

When you have faith in yourself, when you know who you are? What you want? Then every thing is clear. When it is clear you know what to do.

What stops us from experiencing the felling of self confidence?

If we are not validated, if some one important in our life does not show their approval of who we are? And what we are doing? Then we get self doubt. This is because we gave greater importance to someone else's opinion of us. That puts us in a vulnerable position. We can be manipulated and destabilized by even a look of disapproval. We immediately enter into the emotionally week state of self doubt which makes us unable and unwilling to stand up for ourselves.

How does a person know who they are?

When a child is born the first important contact is with the mother. A mother is a mirror in which a child sees him or her self. If the mother is happy then the child is also happy. If mother loves the child. The child thinks he or she is lovable. The reflected feeling in a child from the mother, the father, sisters, brothers and the extended family is how the child knows who he or she is. The reflected feeling of being loved is first and most basic ingredients of self confidence.

All of us begin life as children. We are center of our own world. Our family members and family environment are external messengers which tell us who we are. If we grow up with positive reinforce and have positive experiences we feel secure and the life is good and meaning full. Loss of self confidence begins when a child experiences negative feedback from the family members and family environment. Character defects are created from our confused and negative reactions to negative experiences and negative feed back. We must be clear that self confidence must not be confused with false pride or egoism. We may see a person who is very confident perhaps even over confident. When ever this word "over" comes into the picture. It is a sign of slipping over the line that divides the positive virtue from a negative character defect.

Over confidence is a mask the hides the lack of true self confidence. It is a bluff designed to impress people and prevent them from seeing us clearly. If we put on airs this is also false ego. We may think too highly of ourselves because identifying with the physical status symbol on the other hand we may think too low of ourselves and become self defacing. This is because we depend on others to make us light up and feel good of ourselves.

The goal is to stay in contact with our inner self and to light up our own light and to have clear awareness of our own intrinsic value and the worth of our talent and attributes without someone else having to validate or verify it. True self confidence is reflected in people's eyes as they look at other directly through the genuine windows of a good quality soul. Truly confident people have discovered themselves the deepest level and know their strength as well as their weaknesses. They are not afraid and don't try to hide their short comings. Confident people also have a true heart and the courage of their convictions. Real confidence in the self comes from practicing to be true to ones own self.

This knowledge from teaching of Brahma Kumaris World Spritual University.. Check out there website www.bkwsu.org for more incites.

posted by You First @ 4:33 PM